Oppss.. need help from english teachers

¦ Welcome for coming? The key to existence is pushing!

Looks like malfunctioning translation software

Have a careful suicide....

Still didn't understand?....May be an accident prone area...

Data Breaker?

Bottled water in a can?

Very descriptive...No confusions ..

Okay.....

For taking care the most important treasure

Do you meet theme¦?

Thanks for the suggestion

??

??.

Unusual way to pass away

W.I.F.E

Four guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator.

While they are stuck, they strike up a conversation.


The first guy says, 'I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E., you know...

''Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist.''


The second guy says, 'I'm a D.I.N.K.Y, you know...

Double Income, No Kids Yet. '


The third guy says, 'I'm a R.U.B., you know...

''Rich, Urban, Biker. '


The fourth guy says, I am a D.I.L.D.O, you know...

'Double Income, Little Dog Owner.''


They turn to the woman and ask her. ''What are you?''

She replies: 'I'm a WIFE, you know...

"Washing, Ironing, Furnishing, Etc."

Math

The teacher came up with a good problem. “Suppose,” she asked the secondgraders, “there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?”

“None,” answered little Norman.

“None? Norman, you don’t know your arithmetic.”

“Teacher, you don’t know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!”

Interview

Interviewer said, " I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!"

The candidate thought for a while and said, " My choice is one really difficult question."

" Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!" said the interviewer.

"Here is your question, What comes first, Day or Night?"

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depended on the correctness of the answer to t

hat one question.

He thought for a while and said, " It's DAY sir!"

" How?" the interviewer asked.

" Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"

Moral : Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the mastery of simplicity

Perkataan berlawan

Murid : Selamat pagi, cikgu. Cikgu : (Menengking) Mengapa selamat pagi sahaja? Petang dan malam awak doakan saya tak selamat? Murid : Selamat pagi, petang dan malam cikgu! Cikgu : Panjang sangat! Tak pernah dibuat oleh orang! Kata selamat sejahtera! Senang dan penuh bermakna. Lagipun ucapan ini meliputi semua masa dan keadaan. Murid : Selamat sejahtera cikgu! Cikgu : Sama-sama, duduk! Dengar sini baik-baik. Hari ini cikgu nak uji kamu semua tentang perkataan berlawan. Bila cikgu sebutkan perkataannya, kamu semua mesti menjawab dengan cepat, lawan bagi perkataan-perkataan itu, faham? Murid : Faham, cikgu! Cikgu : Saya tak mahu ada apa-apa gangguan. Murid : (senyap) Cikgu : Pandai! Murid : Bodoh! Cikgu : Tinggi! Murid : Rendah! Cikgu : Jauh! Murid : Dekat! Cikgu : Keadilan! Murid : UMNO! Cikgu : Salah! Murid : Betul! Cikgu : Bodoh! Murid : Pandai! Cikgu : Bukan! Murid : Ya! Cikgu : Oh Tuhan! Murid : Oh Hamba! Cikgu : Dengar ini! Murid : Dengar itu! Cikgu : Diam! Murid : Bising! Cikgu : Itu bukan pertanyaan, bodoh! Murid : Ini ialah jawapan, pandai! Cikgu : Mati aku! Murid : Hidup kami! Cikgu : Rotan baru tau! Murid : Akar lama tak tau! Cikgu : Malas aku ajar kamu! Murid : Rajin kami belajar cikgu! Cikgu : Kamu gila! Murid : Kami siuman! Cikgu : Cukup! Cukup! Murid : Kurang! Kurang! Cikgu : Sudah! Sudah! Murid : Belum! Belum! Cikgu : Mengapa kamu semua bodoh sangat? Murid : Sebab saya seorang pandai! Cikgu : Oh! Melawan! Murid : Oh! Mengalah! Cikgu : Kurang ajar! Murid : Cukup ajar! Cikgu : Habis aku! Murid : Kekal kami! Cikgu : O.K. Pelajaran sudah habis! Murid : K.O. Pelajaran belum bermula! Cikgu : Sudah, bodoh! Murid : Belum, pandai! Cikgu : Berdiri! Murid : Duduk! Cikgu : Saya kata UMNO salah! Murid : Kami dengar KeADILan betul! Cikgu : Bangang kamu ni! Murid : Cerdik kami tu! Cikgu : Rosak! Murid : Baik! Cikgu : Kamu semua ditahan tengah hari ini! Murid : Dilepaskan tengah malam itu! Cikgu : (Dengan senyap mengambil buku-bukunya lalu keluar dari kelas.) Ha...Ha...Ha. .. :-D